So you’re sitting there, quietly staring at your latest Azunyan figure and you’re thinking “damn, that anime strawberry shortcake looks flip floppin’ delicious, I sure wish my waifu could come into existence and cook it for me”
WELL FEAR NOT, I HAVE A SOLUTION.
no, I don’t have a machine that will bring your piece of shit waifu into existence, BUT I DO HAVE A RECIPE FOR A JAPANESE STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE.
So we’re gonna make one, together, and who knows, maybe in 2000-and-never, your waifu WILL be real, and then you can make this delicious gift from god together.
Japanese Strawberry Shortcake
(serves: fuckin idk its a whole fuckin cake god)
adapted from: x
Ingredients for yellow cake-
- NOT yellow cake mix. I swear if y’all use this boxed shit i will come over to your house and eat literally all of your pets and maybe some of your siblings.
- 4 eggs
- 8 Tbsp sugar
- 6 Tbsp all purpose flour
- 2 Tbsp corn flour
- 3 Tbsp butter, melted and cooled
Ingredients for stabilized whipped cream-
- 1 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream
- 1 1/2 Tbsp sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 tsp unflavored gelatin
- 4 tsp water
Ingredients for the syrup’d strawberries-
- 1 - 1 1/2 cups of strawberries
- 1/4 cup water
- 1/4 cup sugar
- Back away from your lap top and close that really risque dating sim full of attractive, gay, anime men. Trust me, this cake will be worth your time away.
- Preheat the oven to a little under 350 F.
- Put the eggs and sugar in a bowl and place the bowl on top of another bowl containing hot water, beat the mixture and whisk until everything’s combined and warmed up.
- Remove the bowl from the water bowl and continue beating the egg mixture until it triples in volume and turns very pale, which will take about 30 minutes.
- For this, I definitely recommend an electric beater, because unlike Alien Flamenco, we do not have the strength of like 50 billion people.
- During the last 2 or 3 minutes, beat on the lowest speed to stabilize the mixture and eliminate large bubbles. When the egg mixture has reached the ribbon stage, sift in the flour a little at a time. Incorporate each flour addition fully before moving on to the next batch.
- Fold in the melted butter using a rubber spatula.
- Pour the batter from a height of approximately 10 inches into two 8” cake tins.
- Lift the tin and drop it gently onto the table top twice to eliminate air bubbles. Place the cakes in the oven and bake for about 25 minutes, until it’s golden at the top and when you stick a tooth pick in it, the tooth pick comes out cleaner and purer than a moeblob anime girl.
Procedure for the syrup (this shit is literally so easy ugh)-
- combine sugar and water in a saucepan
- allow it to simmer until both ingredients are totally combined
- take off heat and allow it to cool
Procedure for stabilized whipped cream-
Okay, do me a favor, please. NEVER EVER fucking use canned whipped cream ever again. That shit’s so gross and so useless and super irrelevant when you can just make the whipped cream your fucking self. This recipe is a stabilized version, but please click here if you just want good, ol fashion delicious whipped cream that tastes SO much better than that shitty excuse people spray from gross ass cans.
- Place cold water in a small sauce pan and sprinkle the gelatin over the surface of the water. Don’t mix it, let it stand for about 5 minutes.
- Place the saucepan over low heat and stir constantly with a wooden spoon just until the gelatin dissolves. Be as consistent as you would be when it comes to marathoning that one anime about tragic magical lesbians. MadoHomu fo lyfe yo.
- Remove the saucepan from the heat and cool to room temperature.
- Combine sugar, vanilla and heavy cream in a mixing bowl and beat with an electric mixer until slightly thickened.
- Then, add the gelatin mixture while beating slowly, allowing all that biz to combine . Once it’s all incorporated, whip it at a high speed until it forms stiff peaks.
SO YOU FINISHED ALL THE PARTS OF THE CAKE. ARE YOU PROUD? DO YOU WANT A COOKIE? well too fucking bad. 1) i don’t even have a cookie on me, and 2) you still need to assemble this work of art.
Assembly of Cake-
- Reserve like 6 to 8 strawberries to decorate the cake, and then thinly slice the rest of them (or just slice them in halves) like some sort of Top Chef prodigy.
- Take the two cake layers and brush the syrup over the top part of the first layer of the cake. That keeps shit super moist (i hate that word) and delish.
- spread a layer of cream on top of that, and then top that layer of cream with some delicious fucking sliced strawberries. Then spread some more cream over the strawberries.
- Brush the remaining layer of cake (only the inner side) with the syrup mixture again and place it atop the strawberries and cream.
- Then, cover the entire cake with the rest of the whipped cream, and decorate the top with strawberries and cute shit, or maybe the name of some precious shota from your favorite manga (cough Nai from Karneval cough)
- Keep the cake chilled until the time of serving. If you plan on serving it immediately, try to let it refrigerate for at least 15 minutes before serving.
AND BAM. FUCKIN DONE
ENJOY EATING THIS DELICIOUS FUCKIN CAKE ALONG WITH YOUR CURRY AND CROQUETTES FOR THE FINAL EPISODES OF KILL LA KILL AND SAMURAI FLAMENCO
enjoy that shit with some bitter black tea in homage to our Queen Satsuki-sama, and have a fabulous time crying over all these rad characters. I’ll be doing the same.